My childhood story isn’t unique.
Raised by my single mother, had a brother, host of a village that took care of me, had siblings on my dad’s side I knew, know, but don’t know, know….ya know!? Went to multiple schools, struggled at times to make friends (#introvert), and was slightly jealous because my brother was thee coolest at any school we went to people would flock to him. I mean….he was pretty cool, super handsome, and always had the gear and kicks…
So when I became a parent I was very focused on undoing my story. A full rewrite if you will for my children.
I have four boys, literally multi-generational ranging in age from 22 to 23 months. 😌
Now, sis was a little on the struggle bus…having my first child senior year of high school, lived with practical strangers that became my family…and there is more but…..
When I got over that curve: financially and professionally I was like. It is ON now!!
Literally…”You can hate me now, but I won’t stop now….you can hate me nooooowwww!” [Insert Diddy Shake]
I WAS READY!!! 💰🛍
but my son wanted to thrift shop
…wait a minute no Tommy Hilfiger? no Guess? Dude…I CAN AFFORD IT!! Nah. Ma. Ok ok
…so you don’t want shoes in multiple colors to match your fits either!??
…amusement park was cool but I’d rather hike or hang out at the beach ⛱️
And come to have it my children are nerds (I don’t say that as a jab, but a given) their Dad was pretty popular. I was soooo hoping his coolness would rub all over them.
It ain’t happen.
More importantly, they don’t give a damn about it either. People don’t make my children…they give zero Fs about what their peers think, say, or do! 😏
I didn’t truly realize this until this year 😪 it’s an age-old story of living vicariously through your children but that’s us fucking up really.
They are a part of a WHOLE new storyline, a new climax, different conflicts, antagonists, and a different ending. Especially bc my childhood and adulthood drastically changed. I recycled the generational cycle into something different.
Now, I’m listening, watching more, hearing them, and quieting down my inner needs (which is another story for another day). Then I can fill them up with what they require and want and need.
And my youngest two, now have a better-equipped Mom a more knowledgeable one to help them navigate life based on their own needs and experiences.
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